On the lack of action

Last week I wasn’t doing much, so theoretically I shouldn’t have much to write. Fortunately, doing nothing is also a choice that could be analysed and reasoned about. Today, I’m writing about my struggles with motivation and how I cope with it in the short and long run.

For me, the main reason for apathy is a lack of reason… Sometimes when I’m in the flow, I feel like I don’t need a goal. Life is a goal by itself, so I need to live trying to be the best version of myself and enjoy every moment of existence. This works when everything goes well, but when I confront an obstacle, even though I know “The obstacle is the way,” a lack of purpose makes it much harder to motivate myself to go outside my comfort zone and do things that are not easy. So the first thing I would call out is to find a reason in everything we do. Having a clear goal that is far enough away can motivate and give you the energy to go further.

Second, something that sucks the potential out of me is breaking my own rules and routines. I create plans and checklists to help me reach my goals in a reasonable time, but sometimes an alarm ringing at 6 am is too easy to ignore. In my head, I don’t have to do it. I can lie in the warm bed, not making the effort. In the morning, it is easiest to question your own goals and take the path of least resistance, which requires the least effort. This is a trap that starts a snowball, at least in my case. When I ignore the alarm clock once, it is much easier to do it again. After a week, what difference will it make if I do it for one more day? In programming, we know it as “broken window theory”, and in my eyes, it is a widespread problem. We can postpone the action forever, hoping to do it next week, next month, or next year, but the reality is that once Pandora is opened, it is tough to close—hopefully, not impossible though.

The main reason I don’t do much is that I spend my time on things that aren’t important, which give me instant but short-lived gratification. Things like browsing social media without a reason, watching YouTube videos recommended by an algorithm optimised to capture my attention, eating sweets and junk food, all these things give me a short-lived boost of good mood, which eventually leaves me feeling empty. I’m not saying I want to avoid all those things at all costs, but rather to control them and avoid getting into a trap that reduces productivity. We all have little pleasures that give us quick gratification. The trick is to be in control, or at least regulate it, so we don’t look at our days with regret.

The last thing that I will mention is physical activities. I need to move a lot. Without exercising, I feel very stiff and tired very quickly. I feel good after surfing, BJJ training, or even a long walk, but I think I need to pay more attention to consistency and small exercises throughout the day. As a programmer, I can spend all day sitting on my bum, reducing my movement to typing on the keyboard. As I’ve already discovered, this is the best way to manage pain and fatigue. In addition to my morning routines, which I need to get back to as soon as possible, I want to do some simple exercises every hour. I started surfing training, but for various reasons that I used to justify my laziness, I stopped doing it. So, I will experiment with either 5 minutes of exercise every hour or 10 minutes every second hour. I don’t have a lot of meetings, which will make it impossible, and I believe it will make me more productive, especially at work. The next thing I will try is a standing desk. I did some small experiments in the past, but I got back to my old habits pretty quickly, so this time I’ll try to be more consistent (let’s see how “this time” it will work). Last but not least is consistent sleeping patterns, which, although not easy with a 2-year-old daughter at home, is not impossible.

In summary, last week I fell into a lazy routine, and I’m trying to break free from the cycle of apathy. I’m working to stop the positive feedback loop that’s making things worse and worse, and I’m finally closing Pandora’s can, which releases more and more bad habits.