Habit break

I’ve been writing a post regularly for a while. Every second Sunday, no matter what was happening, I found some time to sit, reflect, and write down something that was on my mind. I always believed it is a great way to keep in touch through written form of expression, practice my English skills, and put my thoughts into pure language to verify how sure I am about them. That habit continued for a while until, one beautiful day, I forgot. I can easily find plenty of excuses that could satisfy my ego and help me feel better about it. However, the fact remains that I broke the habit, and no fancy word can change it.

Building a habit is a hard thing to do. I mean, something that improves you as a human being. Activities like regular exercise, writing a blog post, or learning a new skill may seem easy at first. “I’ll do it every morning or twice a week” - that is what we usually say at the beginning of the year. Unfortunately, many New Year’s resolutions don’t last long. You start with enthusiasm, follow the habit and feel good about it until that day. Nothing comes together. You think you are tired, and it seems unimportant. So you skip once. It is just that one time, you say. But the next day comes, and it is easier to ignore the activity the second time. It repeats until you realise you broke the pattern, and there is no reason to return to it. I like the broken window analogy, when an abandoned building is fine until somebody breaks the first window. From then, it is a quick downhill ride. I will skip it for today only. I’m exhausted. It is not the end of the world if I don’t do it this one time. I deeply know those are lies that I feed myself, and that it might be the end of my self-improving practice. It applies to every aspect of my life, including sports, coding, parenthood, and languages. As Robert Greene would say, this is a fundamental aspect of human nature. I try to outsmart my subconscious that God and nature were creating during thousands, if not millions, of years of evolution. As you can imagine, there is no high chance of success.

I believe that if we make a habit, we should stick to it. Being resilient is key to success, in my opinion. If you feel tempted to break the activity, consider whether it is worth doing in the first place. Perhaps you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and should reconsider your approach. Perhaps the effort you’re putting into something isn’t worthwhile. Possibly, it is not what you want to do, and it doesn’t push you in the right direction. Examine your decisions, and do not be afraid to change your mind. An important thing is not to change it based on impulse, but only after thorough reflection. We have limited time and capacity, and juggling it is always a trade-off. Once you decide to do one thing, you will have to give up on something else, even if it is just sitting around and doing nothing. My advice is not to do too many things at once. If we attempt to tackle too many things at once, the whole endeavour will collapse, and along with the insignificant activities, we will likely abandon those that are truly important. If everything is essential, then prioritising can help a lot. To avoid overwhelming ourselves, I would pick only a few related tasks that stretch our current schedule a little. If we see it works, we can add up, but it’s better to improve just a tiny bit rather than stay in the same place or even go backward.

Another thing that might work is setting the timeframe for the habits. When we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is easier to keep going. Once we finish this iteration, we can examine if this is what we want to continue, if this skill is worth the effort and decide what to do next.

In summary, there is no break from the habit unless you plan it. So, if you don’t do something because you are tired or something else more important comes up, be prepared that it might be the end of the habit you’ve worked on for a while.

So, back to the story from the beginning, I will write one blog post every second week, with no excuses, every second week until the end of 2022. Once something is written, I can’t deny it, so I hope this statement will give me extra motivation to avoid breaking the habit.